Torn
by Tamie K
Summary: Set directly after the final episode of V (The Return), this story deals with how Donovan and Julie went their separate ways after the war.
1. Photographic Memories

Juliet Parrish packed her bags to start a new life, one which wouldn't involve defending Los Angeles against the Visitors. She folded ragged sweatshirts and faded blue jeans. In the suitcase went photographs (some she couldn't believe she still held onto). There was one of her and Dr. Metz with Ruth and Ben Taylor. Memories past. One of her and Robert Maxwell with a very young Elizabeth, the Starchild, who'd gone off with the Visitors just yesterday.

Julie'd had a restless night the evening before, thinking about Elizabeth's departure, and how the young freedom fighter by the name of Kyle Bates went after her. Neither Julie nor Donovan (the only other resistance member still living at the base) had seen or heard from Kyle since. Donovan's Visitor liaison, Philip had promised to send word as soon as any news on Kyle's status was released. Philip had also promised the return of Donovan's son, Sean, who'd been abducted and brainwashed by the Visitors on more than one occasion. This was a promise yet to be fulfilled and Julie considered Sean's return.

This time last year, she'd been fairly close to the boy's father. Close enough to consider marriage and talk about becoming Sean's step-mother. Donovan and Julie's relationship didn't survive the stresses of the second war. She'd ended it a few months ago. Donovan said he understood, but Julie knew that didn't necessarily mean his feelings weren't there for her anymore. He just didn't let them show. And now, being stuck here at headquarters alone with him, Julie felt awkward. She'd kept her distance from him all morning and afternoon, and hoped for a way out of the base without relying on Donovan. With her lemon of an RX-7 in need of a new transmission, Julie knew she'd have to figure out a way to contact her friend Maggie Blodgett in Santa Monica. Without a functioning telephone at the resistance base, Julie would have to depend on a CB radio in hopes of contacting someone who could get in touch with Maggie. If not, she thought of hitch-hiking.

"Leaving so soon?" Donovan poked his brunette head into the tiny, makeshift bedroom.

Julie glanced up at him. "When I find a ride."

She watched Donovan stuff his leather-gloved hands into his pockets, hands that had held her as he'd made love to her only months ago.

"I hoped you'd wait for Sean," he said quietly.

Julie didn't want any involvement in the situation, but she knew what Donovan wanted and that was her to examine and evaluate Sean. And she'd heard through the grapevine that Sean's mental condition had worsened, under the training of Klaus, his deceased Visitor martial arts guru. Sean was dangerous, a trained killer.

"Of course I will," Julie said, closing the lid on her suitcase.

Donovan stood there, gazing down at her, as if realizing this was the first time they'd been totally alone in a long time. "Where will you go, Julie?"

"I'm not sure yet."

In the irony of the moment Julie reflected on leaving her last beau, Dennis Lowell, after things had turned sour in their relationship. Denny had grown not to trust her, believing the propaganda lies about the Scientific community spread by the Visitors. Julie had went underground for the first time, eventually becoming leader of the L.A. Resistance Movement. Almost three years had passed since the Mother Ships first appeared over earth. And so much had taken place in between…

As Julie lifted the suitcase from her bed to place it on the floor, a photograph which had stuck to the underside of it, drifted to the ground face down. Donovan bent down to pick it up. It was of him hugging her, New Year's Eve before last.

Julie hadn't noticed the photo among her things as she'd packed. She imagined his thoughts as he slipped the photo in her fingers. Their eyes met, but neither had the courage to say anything.

Turning toward the doorway, Donovan muttered, "I'll scrounge us up something to eat."


	2. Lethal Youth

Philip paced the length of his quarters, digital tablet in hand. In his native language he read line by line, the details of Sean Donovan's recent military career: Commended for his participation in military operations in Sacramento, no Human had ever achieved the highest rank in the Visitor Youth Core, but Sean did. He was awarded the position of Captain in his squadron, after arranging for the brutal murders of two Human army officers. He'd also taken part in the brutal slaying of a small band of freedom fighters north of San Jose… All this in a few short months. Sean's military career concerned Philip. He wondered how he could return the 15-year-old monster-in-the making, to the father who loved him so much.

In preparation for transfer, Philip ordered Sean weaned off of Procorb, the Visitor drug that kept Human converts under the aliens. Philip feared due to the duration of Sean's prescription course, that it would be weeks before his system would be free from the drug. Until then, the youth would suffer from severe withdrawal symptoms including hallucinations, nausea, chills and violent outbursts. With the Los Angeles Mother Ship set to depart Earth's orbit tomorrow, Sean's return to the care of his father within the next 24 hours was an unfortunate necessity. Philip planned to brief Julie on how Sean was to be treated during this critical time.

He pulled a stylus from its hook on the tablet, and started to add his own notes to the report. The report and his notes were to be translated from Sirian to English, and accompany Philip and Sean to the resistance headquarters in the morning.

A buzzer sounded and Philip pressed the intercom button. "What is it?"

"Captain Connor, sir. Mr. Bates was detained and brought back to our ship."

Philip smiled, pleased… One less thing he needed to worry about. It seemed Kyle Bates was to accompany him and Sean Donovan in the morning as well.

"Have his needs attended to and send him to the guest wing. I will send for him in the morning."

"He requested to be sent home this evening."

Philip let out another breath of frustration, then ordered, "Have him sent to my quarters immediately."

"Yes, Sir."

* * *

A low supply of canned goods in the HQ pantry gave Donovan a sharp reminder, that while the war had ended, its effects on food shortages would continue for quite some time. He pulled out a can of spaghettio's, well past its expiration date and slammed it on the counter. Then he found a jar of tamales, unexpired, but knew Julie would refuse both entrees, still good, or not. Donovan couldn't remember the last time they'd had fresh vegetables to eat. Given water shortages in California, most food had to be imported from surrounding states. And lately he and his comrades had been living off the remnants of a large shipment sent courtesy of the White Christmas Group in New York, several months ago. What Donovan wouldn't give for a plate of Julie's Beef Burgundy, or Elias Taylor's Shrimp Gumbo, a specialty of The Club Creole. If things went well, Donovan knew it would be just a matter of months before he could enjoy the dishes he'd grown accustomed to working as a freelance newsman several years ago. Of course that type of luxury would only return with adequate employment. And if Sean was as bad as the rumors spread throughout the Fifth Column, then how could Donovan hold the job he hoped for.

Several months had passed since the last time he visited his Spanish Colonial Style home in Echo Park. He was behind on his mortgage payments as were most home owners adversely affected by the war. Having lived underground these past several months, Donovan lost touch with the mortgage company. He hoped a trip to his abandoned home would come within the next few days. He had a small stash of collectible baseball cards stowed away in a secret location, and thought perhaps they'd bring enough money for him, Julie and Sean to get back on their feet, that was if baseball cards were still popular… The Dodgers hadn't played since before the second invasion.

"What's for dinner?"

Julie's voice startled Donovan out of his baseball nostalgic reverie. He pulled a couple cans out of the pantry. "Green beans, peas…"

With a slight shake of the head and a look of annoyance Julie walked away. The CB on the counter crackled to life.

"Cactus Flower, this is Eagle one."

Donovan recognized Maggie Blodgett's voice and snatched up the mic before Julie could. The way she glared at him, he knew how eager she was to talk to Maggie and he just smiled back at her.

"Eagle One, what's your ten twenty."

"You know where I am, Mike." Maggie chuckled. "Is Julie there?"

Grinning, Julie took the CB from Donovan's hands.

"Maggie, how are you?"

Donovan stayed close, curious to see how soon Julie planned to leave.

"Good. The war's over huh? How's everyone?" Maggie asked.

"We're all good," Julie said.

Donovan assumed she would go into the details of Elizabeth, Willie and Kyle's departure later.

"Listen, I've been trying to get ahold of Chris. Have you heard from him lately?" Maggie asked.

Julie sounded just as baffled as Donovan was. "No, as far as I know he and Ham are still in Chicago."

"Do you have a number?" Maggie pressed. "It's very important that I speak with him as soon as possible."

"Do you miss him?" Julie asked.

Maggie and Chris had ended their relationship several months before he left for Chicago. Donovan wondered if Maggie was having second thoughts about the breakup, and it didn't surprise him Julie would ask such a question.

"I just need to talk to him," Maggie said.

"We'll look for the number," Julie replied, "But Maggie I have a huge favor to ask of you right now, that is if you're in a position to help me."

Donovan felt his eyes narrow and had to turn away from Julie. He reminded himself that it was selfish to try to force her to stay, when Sean wasn't her responsibility… But how could he help Sean without her?

"I'll GET HER BACK!" Kyle Bates voice thundered over Maggie and Julie's chatter, startling Donovan. The young, ex-freedom fighter hurried in the front door with Philip on his heels.

"I DON'T NEED YOUR DAMNED HELP!"

"Maggie, I'll call you back," mumbled Julie, then clicked off the CB.

Donovan eyed Philip for answers, but Kyle was suddenly in his face, eyes raging.

"This is all _your_ damned fault!"

"What is?" Donovan asked.

"You're so gullible."

"Kyle?" Julie asked, stepping closer to the two men, as if she alone could quell a confrontation.

"What the hell did _I_ do?" Donovan demanded.

"Don't let him talk you into it, Mike," Philip pleaded. "It could destroy the treaty."

"Do what?" Donovan asked, already tired of the monotony.

"I want her back. She's not safe up there," Kyle admitted.

Elizabeth. Donovan might've guessed he was ranting about Elizabeth, and what did he expect to do about the situation.

"You want me to fly you out there… bring her back home?"

"Precisely," Kyle said.

"We've already been through this, Kyle," Julie interjected, her blue eyes pleading. "If she wants to go, let her go. You can't force her to come back."

Kyle turned toward her. The rage hadn't left his eyes, and now they glistened with moisture. "We can't trust them with her. You don't know what kind of danger she's in. There was an explosive device planted aboard that shuttlecraft, and it was meant to kill Elizabeth"

Donovan turned to Philip for confirmation. The Visitor Envoy just nodded.

"Is she all right?" Julie asked.

"How should I know? They escorted me back here and left her out there with that bastard." He turned to face Donovan again. "Please, man. You've got to help."

"Sorry, I can't right now," he replied.

"Oh, that's bull—"

"Kyle!" Julie snapped, before he could finish the sentence. "Mike's waiting for Sean right now. He can't go anywhere."

"It's fine when it's someone _he_ cares about, but not someone _I_ care about."

"Now wait a minute, Pal," Donovan interjected. How could Kyle make such an accusation? Donovan had known Elizabeth since she was a few weeks old. And Kyle was only a part of Elizabeth's life for less than a year…

Again, Julie interrupted, placing her hand on Kyle's shoulder. He shrugged it away.

"We both care about Elizabeth, honey," she said.

Kyle brushed past her and headed toward the men's sleeping area.

Donovan decided not to go after him, but looked to Philip for answers instead.

"Have you located Sean?"

Philip nodded slowly, and pulled the printed report from his uniform's pocket. "I'm afraid it isn't good, Mike."

"How much worse can it be?" Donovan said, hearing the skepticism in his own voice. He took the papers, unfolded them and sat in a beat up recliner. Julie read over his shoulder, obviously eager to see how Sean's condition would affect her own departure.

In the midst of reading the report on Sean's so-called war heroics, Donovan saw Kyle pass in and out of the building several times with duffel bags and boxes. It was Julie who slipped outside to reason with him. By the time Donovan finished reading the five page report, Julie had returned, and the sound of tires squealing outside could be heard.

Donovan watched Julie blink tears of defeat away.

"He's not coming back," she said. "What's the word on Sean?"

"I'll bring him here tomorrow, after his detox treatment," Philip said. "I've given Donovan a report on Sean's condition. He'll need constant supervision, psychological treatment eventually. But the withdrawals from the Procorb will inhibit any therapeutic sessions for now."

Julie hesitated. "Okay… how long will he need to be monitored?"

"Months," Philip answered.

Donovan eyed Julie, certain he knew what she was thinking…. She didn't want to stick around for the duration. She just wanted to move on with her life.

"What are the withdrawal symptoms from Procorb?" she questioned, like any good doctor who cared ought to.

"Queasiness, vomiting, delirium," Philip said. "You'll want to make sure all the arms are secured. It could be that Diana has turned him against anyone who was close to him, as she often has in the conversion process. Donovan, you especially will want to take precautionary measures."

Between reading Sean's report and hearing Philip's advice to him and Julie, Donovan sensed the best place for Sean was confinement in an institution for the criminally insane. But he knew he'd have to see Sean in person, and have Julie evaluate him, before that conclusion could be reached.

The question remained, how long would Julie stick around?

**Authors note… Maggie/Chris storyline plays off of the novel V:Death Tide by. A.C. Crispin and Deborah A. Marshall


	3. Grapefruit and Potatoes

As a type of settlement payment, Philip had left Donovan with the sum of one thousand American dollars, stating how badly he felt regarding Sean's condition. But Donovan knew if Sean were that bad off then no amount of money could ever repay the damage done to Sean's psyche, or replace the time lost between father and son. The following morning, Donovan gave Julie part of the money to shop for supplies while he awaited Sean's return.

Shortly before noon, the CB buzzed.

"Cactus flower, you there?"

It was Maggie calling for Julie again, Donovan guessed and picked up the mic.

"Hello sky angel."

It wasn't Maggie's handle, but Donovan thought he'd humor her.

"Where's Julie?" she asked.

"Gone out for supplies. Can she call you when she returns?"

"No. I have to leave for work soon. I'll try again tomorrow."

Donovan knew how disappointed Julie would be to know she missed Maggie's call again.

"Can I tell you what she wanted?" he asked, just as Maggie said:

"Did you guys find Chris' number?"

He felt guilty for not looking, and knew Julie hadn't either.

"I'm sorry, we forgot."

"You forgot, it's important, Donovan," Maggie complained.

"I'll tell Julie to have it ready for you when you call. She really wants to talk to you."

There was a pause before Maggie asked, "About what?"

"About her needing a place to stay."

"I thought she wanted to stay with you… Are you guys okay?"

He realized other than yesterday's conversation, Julie hadn't spoken to Maggie for months… so much for friendship. War had its toll on every aspect of life.

"We're not together anymore," he answered.

"You broke up with her… when?"

"No…no… no," he corrected, feeling defensive. "She ended it."

"Well I can't imagine why, you're such a sweet guy and all."

Donovan felt his cheeks get warm. He couldn't tell whether she was complementing him or being genuinely sarcastic.

"I am a nice guy," he agreed.

"Oh, no. Don't start with that ego, Donovan." She chuckled.

"Ego?" He laughed. "Hey, you're the one who said I'm a nice guy. I was just agreeing with you."

"But does Julie agree? That's what I'm wondering. What happened between you and her? You made such a cute couple. I really expected a wedding invitation when the war ended… That's what she used to tell me, you know. You wanted to marry her when the war ended."

Now he felt awkward, not wanting to be reminded of the things he'd whispered in Julie's ear during the intimate phase of their relationship. Shattered hopes. Conquered dreams…

"Things got bad between you two?" Maggie asked.

"I could ask the same about you and Chris," he said half-threateningly.

"I needed time to think.. You know. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe it's the same with Julie. She's been through so much, made so many sacrifices for the war."

_Haven't we all?_ He wondered.

"I do have to go now. Tell Julie I'll give her a call tomorrow, and maybe if she still wants to leave you, you can bring her out here this weekend."

_Leave me? Do you have to say it like that? _

"I'm sure she'll be waiting by the CB," he said.

"Goodbye, Donovan.

* * *

Not but a few minutes later, Julie walked in with two paper sacks full of groceries. She quietly carried them into the small kitchen and placed them on the counter. Donovan watched her pull out a small portion of beef, wrapped in cellophane, a few potatoes, some beef bouillon and carrots.

Julie's eyes met his. "I haven't seen so much produce since last year. Look…" She reached into the bag and pulled out two large grapefruit…. Donovan's favorite. Julie didn't eat them. "They still cost an arm and a leg, but I thought you'd appreciate it, after all these months."

He watched her smile as she rinsed them under the tap. "I know you didn't eat breakfast," she said. "Do you want one now? I can cut it up for you."

The way she smiled at him, as if she'd brought home a long sought out treasure, made him wonder if maybe she still cared.

"No, I'm fine. I'll wait for the soup."

Julie pulled a paring knife from the kitchen drawer, and dug it into the fruit's flesh. "No, you're not fine. You haven't had a decent meal in months. Neither have I. If you don't mind, I'd like to go out again later and get us some stuff from K-Mart. The grocery store was out of some things."

"Maggie called while you were out," he said. "I told her you needed a place to stay."

Her expression turned somber. "Yeah, what'd she say?"

"She…uh… asked me why you wanted to leave me."

She squinted, looking a little annoyed.

"She thinks we're still together?"

"No reason to think otherwise, if you hadn't spoken to her since…?"

Julie shrugged, opened a cabinet and pulled a metal strainer out. She placed it in the sink, put the potatoes in it and ran cold water over them. "Did she say when she'd call back? Or where I could reach her?"

"She'll call back tomorrow. I told her you'd have Chris' number for her."

"I hope _you_ find it then."

"_Me?_ I thought you were in charge of all the paper work." He watched as the paring knife missed the potato and pricked Julies index finger.

"Ow!" she hissed.

Donovan stepped over and pulled Julie's hand to his line of site to get a good look at the wound. She jerked it away.

"It's not too deep," he said. "I could kiss it. It might heal faster."

She glared at him, then rinsed her bloody fingers under the tap. "You really know how to amuse yourself, don't you, Donovan?"

He cracked a grin, remembering how he used to be able to bring her out of a foul mood, but now any attempt at anything that might pass for a "pass" was met with hostility. And he couldn't resist pushing her buttons.

"Want me to call Dr. Maitland and have him come patch you up instead?"

The mention of Julie's ex-flame whom she'd been briefly reunited with on a reconnaissance mission two weeks ago, only served to exacerbate her crankiness.

"Move!" She muttered, then hurried past Donovan to her room and slammed the door behind herself.

"C'mon. I was kidding," Donovan called after her to no avail.

His attention turned to the sink. Julie had left the tap running over several unpeeled potatoes in the colander.

The sound of a shuttlecraft landing whined outside…


	4. Harling Patient

With her index finger smarting from a shallow cut, Julie cleaned the injury with an antiseptic wipe, and ignored the sound of a shuttlecraft landing outside. Donovan had the audacity to bring up the topic of Steve Maitland…

_ Where is Steve? Maybe I'll call him. He'll be glad to see me… No, that would be spiteful._

She smiled, try as he might, Donovan failed to hide his jealousy.

_Maybe I'll call Steve after I get settled…. Did Donovan tell Maggie I want to stay with her? _

The sound of a familiar male voice, one she hadn't heard in a few days, resonated through the doorway.

"Julie, you are needed."

It was Willie, the Visitor turned resistance ally, on the outside.

_Sure, I'm always needed…_

"Mike said to bring your medical bag. Sean is harling."

_Harling? What word did he screw up now?_

She snatched the black vinyl bag from her makeshift desk (two wooden crates with a sheet of plywood draped across them), then headed into the common room.

Sean Donovan, dark haired and maybe cute if it weren't for his paleness, stood in the middle of the room, leaning forward, liquid dripping from his mouth. Julie noted the presence of not only Philip and Willie, but Willie's fiancée, Thelma as well. But Donovan was absent.

_Hurling… _Julie mentally corrected. _He meant to say hurling._

"It's the withdrawals from Procorb," Willie explained.

"The skyfighter's motion was not very helpful either," said Thelma.

Donovan rushed in with a small wastepaper basket just as Sean puked again. He looked at Julie. "What can you give him?"

"First, I have to find out what _they_ gave him," she said.

Philip pulled out his tablet and scrolled through Sean's latest metal treatment as Julie coaxed Sean toward the couch.

"C'mon, honey. You need to lie down."

Sean jerked away. "Don't touch… me." Without warning he doubled over and vomited again. A little spattered on Julie's shoes.

The others turned their heads, and Julie wondered if she'd be lucky enough to clean up the mess. Perhaps she had the better of the duties, to attend to Sean's medical care.

When he was done getting sick, Sean shuffled to the couch and sat, his head down. Julie observed his skin color… somewhere between pale gray and green.

"I know you don't feel well," she said. "But I'm the only one who can help you." She took a few steps toward him only to be met with anger.

"Are you deaf?" He picked his head up and glared at her.

Donovan took a step forward, "Now Sean, she's only trying to help."

"Like she helped Mom?" Sean asked.

Donovan's ex-wife Margie had died during a raid gone awry last summer.

_But how does Sean know?_ Julie wondered. _What did Diana tell him about the raid… that I killed his mother? _It was ironic; Donovan had initially blamed her for Margie's death too…

"Whatever you think Julie had to do with your mother, I'm sure it was just some false memory planted by Diana," said Donovan.

Sean's face contorted. He looked as though he were going to hurl again, but he didn't. Instead, he swallowed it back and said, "She killed Mom… And you let her."

Julie looked at Donovan, questioning only in her own mind, _How do you expect me to help him when he thinks I killed his mother?_

"I'll straighten this out," Donovan said, as though he knew her thoughts. "He just needs time. Will you get the rags and a bucket of soapy water?"

_No, he's your child. You clean up after him._ With a slight shake of the head she extended her hand to show him the blood dripping out from under the bandage.

"I need to go take care of this cut." With that, she turned on her heel and walked back to her room.

"I'll clean up the mess," offered Thelma.

Julie sat on her cot again, undid the bandage and swabbed at it with another wipe. Her injury burned as the alcohol came in contact. As she sat there trying to figure out how she would go about treating Sean, she overheard Philip give the answer.

"He'll need to be restrained," he said. "It's vital that he isn't left alone for any length of time."


	5. The Exam

_If your mother is watching us now_, Donovan thought as he tied his son's right hand to a bedpost. _My god, I'm so sorry, Margie. I'm sorry for letting her get to him… and to you._

Donovan felt the wetness of a tear sliding down his cheek. His lip trembled.

"What if he needs to use the restroom?" asked Willie, who stood with Thelma near the doorway.

"Someone will always be with him," said Julie as she pulled a stethoscope from her medical bag.

_Not you_, Donovan realized. If Sean's behavior and attitude toward Julie didn't improve, he wasn't certain if she'd continue treating him.

Sean leaned against a couple pillows.

"Can you scoot up a little?" Julie asked.

Sean glared at her, and puckered his lips as if he were going to spit in her face.

"Cool it," Donovan warned.

Sean just smiled, as if he found satisfaction in the threat alone.

"Is your stomach any better?" Julie questioned.

"I guess you'll find out if I puke on you," Sean said.

"You do that and she can't treat you," Donovan replied.

"Really, Dad?... Naw!"

Donovan watched Julie bat her eyelashes and set her jaw, a clear sign of frustration. He hated the thought of putting her through this hell. Without advanced notice, he cupped his hand over Sean's mouth, tight enough he was certain he'd caused a little pain.

"If I tape it shut you won't be able to—"

"Mike, please!" Julie snapped at him.

Donovan released the boy's jaw.

Sean looked stunned. "Diana was right about you," he spat. "Diana was right about both of you!"

"Oh, bull!"

Julie placed the stethoscope in her ears, preparing to take Sean's respirations. "Can you two knock it off so I can complete the exam?"

Looking directly into her eyes, Sean asked, "Were you jealous of Mom because she gave him a kid, and you can't?"

"Excuse me?" she demanded, taking offense at the remark.

"Why does he speak to her like that?" Donovan overheard Thelma ask Willie. He glanced at them to see Willie cup his hand under Thelma's elbow and lead her out into the hall.

Donovan eyed his son. "Julie and I aren't together anymore."

"What, you realized what she really was after she killed Mom?"

"She didn't kill your mother! If anything, Diana is responsible for your mother's death. Julie tried to save her. But we'll discuss that later. She needs to do the exam, and then you can rest."

"Right, with my hands tied up?"

"I'll give you a sedative. You won't even notice," said Julie. "Let's just get through this and I'll leave you alone."

"Good, because I can't stand to look at you, you ugly –"

Donovan clamped his hand over Sean's mouth again. "Shut the hell up!"

Hands shaking, Julie reached for the blood pressure cuff, mumbling, "This is asinine."

Donovan wanted to tell her how grateful he was, how much he felt he owed her for tolerating Sean's behavior, but he wasn't about to throw fuel on that fire now. He'd have to apologize again, later. Donovan watched as Julie squeezed the blood pressure pump several times and released it. She tried it again several times, even with Donovan's hand still clamped over Sean's mouth.

Julie shook her head and undid the cuff. "I can't get an accurate reading. Not with him in the mood he's in and not tied up to the bed."

"Maybe it's not that important," Donovan admitted. "Do you have the sedative?"

With a nod of her head, Julie turned to her little black bag again, then pulled out a vial and a syringe. Sean's eyes grew big.

* * *

Authors Notes: Sister sites Fanfiction dot net and Fictionpress dot com have had issues with updating stories lately.

If interested in my works on fictionpress dot com , I am uploading my autobiographical stories and poetry… because every story I tell has a back story and V and its characters have been interwoven throughout my life. My username on fictionpress dot com is tamarkaph2013

Thank you for your support and feedback. Stay tuned for the next chapter…


	6. Apologies

After Sean was rendered unconscious from the sedative, Donovan found Julie in her room, going through the makeshift desk. Stacks of papers, receipts from daily expenses, and military agenda's hit the floor. Donovan had never seen Julie so unorganized, and it was like she didn't care. But he knew the orderliness of these things was no longer a necessity. In another hour or so, they might end up in the trash. He hoped his friendship with Julie wasn't headed in the same direction.

Julie shot him a, _not now_, look, as if he might be bringing bad news about Sean, requiring her attention. He tried to lighten her mood.

"Did you find Chris and Ham's number?" he asked.

"Still looking." She let out a breath of annoyance.

Feeling anxious, Donovan stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I wanted to apologize for Sean's behavior."

Julie said nothing, her expression somber.

"I didn't know Diana," he paused, looking for the right term. Had Sean actually been put in the conversion chamber again? And if so, why was it necessary? He'd already expressed his loyalty to both Diana and Klaus, and apparently the whole Visitor mission in general. How could he have become so brutal in such a short amount of time.

"What do you want me to say, Mike?" Julie asked.

"Tell me I'm forgiven… that we're still friends."

She shook her head. "There's nothing to forgive. It's not your fault."

"And about what I said yesterday, about you and Maitland."

"Okay, fine." Julie continued to dig through the paperwork, and lifted a sheet of notebook paper.

Donovan noticed it gave not only Ham and Chris' number, but Robin Maxwell's too. He thought it was a good thing that Robin hadn't tried to contact them yet, looking to be reunite with her daughter.

"Found it," Julie announced. "I may make some phone calls while I'm out this afternoon. I'll need to borrow your truck again."

"Calling who?"

"Maybe I can set up an appointment for Sean's psychiatric evaluation."

"Still planning on going to K-Mart?" He reached in his pocket and pulled out his bill fold.

Julie nodded again.

"Phillip gave me another grievance payment."

"Maybe you should save it for Sean's care."

But he knew the second grand he'd been left with wouldn't make a dent in the kind of care Sean really needed. And he thought he should help where he could, to make Julie and the others comfortable.

"I want you to take Thelma with you and get her some civilian clothes. I guess Willie and her are planning on staying. And get us some decent coffee if you can." He handed her two hundred dollars. "Anything will be better than that sludge we've been drinking."

"Maybe they'll have Folgers." She grinned.

"Anything," he agreed.

"Do you need anything else?"

"Yeah. A Hershey bar for you. The biggest you can find." He tried to remember the last time she'd had her favorite treat…. It must've been the little bag of kisses he'd put in her Christmas Stocking.

She smiled again. "Thank you, Mike."

He wished he could go a step farther, and pay for the parts to repair her car, but first he needed to know exactly how much it was going to take to get himself and Sean settled again.


	7. A Minor Incident

Julie and Thelma ventured out to K-Mart in Donovan's truck that afternoon. It'd been months since Julie visited this store. She shopped the food isles first, in hopes of a red canister of medium roast Folgers coffee. The large can was $25, not but a few dollars cheaper than last December. She felt guilty picking out a Hershey's bar for herself, as Donovan had insisted. They now sold for five dollars apiece. There weren't any with almonds, which were Julie's favorite. But still it was chocolate… and Donovan insisted.

Other necessities on Julie's list were a bag of sugar at $6, coffee creamer, at $7.42, and several packages of noodles. She intended to make spaghetti this evening. The Parmesan Cheese had been $8.13 at the grocery store… Julie doubted if Thelma had ever eaten human food. The woman's last meal was probably human. Julie didn't savor that thought.

Willie's trust in Thelma worried Julie. After all, the reunited couple had not seen each other in years… _How could he love her? He hardly knows her…. He loved Harmy._

Julie glanced over at Thelma who looked much younger in her human disguise than Harmony Moore looked before she died. Julie studied Thelma's face and the sincere expression she wore. There were so many questions she thought to ask, but didn't want to overwhelm the girl, who admitted she'd never set foot outside of the Mother Ship until Philip brought her to the base.

It would take a lot of work to teach Thelma to live like a human being, and Willie would be her teacher. Julie wondered how he intended to support them.

"Why do you keep looking at me?" asked Thelma.

"Nothing… I was just thinking about you and Willie." Julie shifted her focus to the isle ahead of her. "Are you ready to shop for clothes?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Thelma said, "I guess."

_You don't even know your size, do you?_ Julie looked at her again, doubting if the K-Mart fitting room attendants possessed a tape measure. How would they feel about measuring a Visitor? Most Humans were still untrusting of the aliens, no matter which race they claimed to side with.

Moments later, Julie pushed the shopping cart into the ladies' apparel department. Racks were overstuffed with winter clearance bargains…. During the war, people couldn't afford food, let alone clothing. But still the manufactures sent their product. A blue light flashed in the distance, near the lingere department. Julie decided that Thelma needed panties, socks and bras too. For that matter, she also needed shoes. She couldn't wear the black boots required by Visitor dress code. Julie turned the cart toward the lingerie isle, but noticed Thelma wasn't on her heels. She lagged behind, admiring a ruffled blue blouse. The Visitor smiled.

_Maybe she does have fashion sense. _Turning the cart back, Julie asked, "Do you like that one?"

Thelma traced her hands over the ruffles. "It will be nice to wear something besides red all the time, and not to be like everyone else."

"H-how much is it?" Julie was afraid to ask.

"How much?" Thelma questioned.

"The price tag."

Thelma found the garments ticket. "It says twenty-five dollars."

Julie looked at the forty percent off sale sign above and mentally calculated the items that were already in the shopping cart, and the one shirt Thelma had picked out….

_At that rate, she won't have much money left for a few outfits. _

"Why don't we start with the basics first, and maybe we'll come back to the shirt."

Thelma's pseudo brow furrowed as she fell in line behind Julie. "What are the… basics?"

"Panties, bras…. Socks."

When they reached the lingerie department, Julie tried to guess Thelma's sizes, and realized the woman would need to take several sizes to the fitting room to get the right fit. The situation reminded Julie of taking Elizabeth shopping after her metamorphosis… except Elizabeth trusted her.

"I like this one," said Thelma, picking up a pink lace teddy.

_I can see the look on Willie's face_. Julie chuckled.

"Is it funny?" Thelma asked.

"No… Well, um, it isn't basic."

"But it's all connected." Thelma pointed to the garment's midsection. "See, it has underwear, and a bra all built in together. I never had anything like this to wear under my uniform."

Feeling her cheeks flush, Julie said, "Because it isn't meant to be worn under the clothes, Sweetheart."

"Well then why would one wear it?"

"To go to bed in," Julie answered.

"Well that's stupid." Thelma flung the garment on the rack.

Julie shook her head and continued browsing the racks. She headed toward the underwear.

* * *

Three hours passed since Julie and Thelma's departure for the store. Donovan guessed Julie had decided to go to other stores as well, maybe stop and get something to eat. But her lengthy absence still worried him, after all she had the only running vehicle… his.

Donovan sat in the common room, glancing through the L.A. Times copy Julie had left for him. He turned to the help wanted section, not that he could hold down a job with Sean's condition, but there wasn't anything listed in the way of media either and neither were there any listings for scientists or doctors. He and Julie would have to rely on their field connections, if they wanted to find employment anytime soon. Donovan found himself wondering what Willie would do for money to support him and Thelma. It'd be next to impossible to find a career in a climate that was less than friendly to the Visitors.

"Dad?" Sean called from his confinement room.

Donovan stood from his spot on the couch and lay the newspaper aside on the end table. He sauntered to his son's side.

He gave Sean a once over, noticing he didn't look as pale as he did when he'd first arrived. "How ya doin', Kiddo? Are you sick."

"I need to use the bathroom."

Donovan hesitated to untie the restraints. "If I let you up, you plan to behave?"

"I'll pee all over the sheets if you don't." Sean grinned.

Holding out his index finger, Donovan commanded, "Wait a minute."

He stepped out of the room and headed to the bathroom, then knelt down and checked under the sink and in the medicine cabinet and shower for any sharp objects (like razors) Sean might be able to use as a weapon. But apparently, Julie was already a step ahead in her thinking and had put her things away. Donovan would have to ask her where his own razor was later. He returned for Sean, untying him, then holding his arm tightly as he marched him toward the bathroom. When they reached the threshold Sean slipped inside the small room. The door slammed in Donovan's face.

"I don't need you to watch me go to the bathroom!" Sean snapped.

"I'll wait right here for you," said Donovan through clenched teeth.

"Screw you!"

Donovan waited for the toilet to flush, and hadn't heard the water run when Sean opened the door and glared at him. He started to step out but Donovan gave him a shove back in.

"Huh-uh. Not until you wash your hands."

"I'm not a kid anymore. You can't tell me what to do."

"WASH… YOUR… HANDS."

Sean just stood there, waiting for his father to move out of the way.

"Do it." Donovan motioned to the soap.

Sean picked it up and chucked it into the shower wall.

Donovan grabbed him by the shoulders, muttering, "All right, that's it!"

Sean ducked, and shot back up with a clenched finch, right to the right side of his father's face.

Jaw stinging in agony, (Ham Tyler said the kid could throw a punch) Donovan recoiled and grabbed Sean again, holding both of his arms down at his side.

"Let me go!" Sean yelled

Donovan faced him toward the common room. "March, son."

Sean followed the command and returned to his room, only to have his hands tied to the wall again.

"You know I'm not going to stay here. The first chance I get, I'm leaving."

"Yeah, yeah." Donovan started to taste his own blood. He felt his teeth with his tongue… still all in place. A little blood seeped from the corner of his lips.

"I got you good, didn't I?" The lad's lips curled to a smile. "I bet you can't wait for Julie to come play doctor."

_Apparently you missed what I said earlier,_ thought Donovan. But he hadn't missed what Sean said earlier, and that still bothered him. Did Sean know Julie had lost a baby last summer? But how?

"We're not together," Donovan said again.

"But you still love her," Sean said. It sounded more like an accusation coming from his lips. "You knew she couldn't have kids?"

Donovan shrugged, wondering if this was indeed an opportunity to find out what Sean knew. "Who'd you hear that from, Diana?"

"Yeah, she said she fixed Julie so she couldn't have kids."

Donovan wiped the blood from his chin. "What, when she tried to convert her like she converted you?"

"I'm not converted."

"Well then what are you when you've turned on your own species?"

"At least I know who the superior race is…"

"Oh, I bet you wish you were one of them now, huh?" The thought disgusted Donovan. Sean didn't say anything so he thought he'd remind him about the pain the Visitor's caused. "Do you know that Diana also converted your mother and used her to get information from the resistance?" Donovan heard his voice grow louder and more agitated. "She had me convinced that she wanted to help me find you. I trusted her, Sean."

"So, what? You let Julie kill her to get even?"

There he was with his false accusation. Donovan thought he'd try and set the record straight again, not that Sean would believe him.

"We were on a raid, your mother was injured. Julie did _try_ to save her. You have to believe me on that. I won't allow you to blame her for your mother's death." He dabbed at his face with the back of his sleeve.

"Knock knock."

Donovan turned to see Julie standing in the doorway. "I bought some Emitrol for him in case- Mike, what happened to your face?"

She stepped in the room and reached for his face.

He pushed her probing hand away. "Just a little disagreement. I'm fine."

"Look in the mirror, that is _not_ fine."

"Oh, go on. Let her play, Doctor, Dad. She wants you," Sean said.

Julie fluttered her eyelashes, looking royally peeved off.

"Can it," Donovan told his son. "I'll be back to check on you in a bit." He closed the door behind himself, following Julie out.

She turned to him again, touching his face. "Do you want to tell me what really happened?"

"Not really."

"Can I look at it up close? You might need stitches!"

_I bet you won't leave me alone until you do_, thought Donovan.

"Certainly," he said.


	8. Diagnosis

His mouth lips being pried apart by Julie's probing hands, Donovan lay on her cot. Pain shot from his gum line to where the cheek connected in front of his eye tooth. He got a whiff of whatever perfume Julie had sampled at the store as she leaned close, dabbing at the cut with a swab doused in antiseptic.

Donovan stared straight into those beautiful blue eyes, the ones that sparkled with anger when she was mad, or looked glazed over when she'd been happy. He found it difficult to accept how much he'd grown apart from her these past four months. Sean couldn't be more wrong about Julie's feelings for Donovan. But Donovan hoped Sean was wrong about what Diana had said…

If Juliet Parrish could never have kids, then Donovan thought maybe she should know that now rather than later. He wondered how she'd take it, even though he knew finding a partner and settling down was the last thing on her mind.

"Well, I don't think you'll need stitches, but I don't think you'll be eating grapefruit soon." She drew away and placed the swab on top of the trashcan, overstuffed with papers, by her desk. "I'm not even certain you'll want spaghetti either. Maybe we'll have something else for dinner."

"What do you have?"

"What do you want?" she asked.

He thought if she weren't in such a serious mood he'd tease her about getting back together.

He winked at her. "What do you have to offer me, Julie?"

She paused, as if she realized he was toying with her, then slowly asked, "What kind of food do you want, Michael?"

Michael… she hadn't called him that since they were together. Maybe she wasn't so opposed to getting back together.

But how would it work with Sean?

Julie turned and placed the cotton swabs back in a plastic container, then put the antiseptic in the night stand by her bed. Donovan watched her intently as she moved about.

"What happened to the Beef Burgundy?" he asked.

"It's in the fridge. I thought I'd save it for tomorrow."

"Well, I can help you make it, if you want me to."

"Would you um…" She stared at him, "Finish peeling the potatoes and carrots."

"I owe you one." Donovan stood, and without a warning he bent down and pecked Julie on the cheek, then muttered, "Thanks."

For a brief few seconds, Julie looked stunned. "You're welcome."


	9. Bad Timing

Julie had spent half the night with Donovan, tending to Sean's hallucinations and violent outbursts, and the other half tossing, turning and thinking about Donovan, wondering why he insisted on playing an emotional game with her. She didn't want to be with him again, why couldn't he accept it and not try to confuse her as she mentally prepared herself to leave. Maybe it was her fault too, maybe she shouldn't have played along, light jokes about making him dinner last night… light, yet seemingly seductive jokes.

_What have I done? _She wondered, preparing breakfast the next morning. _It's supposed to be over, and there we were flirting with each other. He still loves me Do I still love him?_

Julie put three plates on the small, square table, one for her, one for Thelma, and one for Willie. Donovan would have to tend to Sean's food when he returned from the local convenience mart. Julie took a seat and scooted her chair in. She observed Thelma poke at scrambled eggs with a fork.

"I've never eaten cooked food before. This should be interesting." Thelma lifted a forkful up into her mouth, then chewed carefully and smiled. "This is good, Willie, you should try it."

"Thanks. I am fine," said Willie as he pulled apart one of Donovan's uneaten grapefruits.

There was a rap on the front door and Julie looked up to see Steve Maitland peering at her through the window.

_My God, he found me_…

"Excuse me," she muttered quickly getting up from the table.

"Who is that?" Thelma asked.

Julie reached the door and unlocked the deadbolt. Steve didn't hesitate to sweep her up and hug her as tight as hard as he could. She coughed on the overpowering scent of Polo.

"I've missed you," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her earlobe.

"How did you find me?" she asked, disengaging herself from the embrace. She could only imagine Donovan returning right now, not that he would say or do anything, not until after Steve left. But she envisioned the look on his face.

"I contacted Philip yesterday. He told me you were here." He looked into her eyes and pecked her full on the mouth, but she darted out of his aim.

"C'mon, Steve…" she pleaded.

"I haven't stopped thinking about you since we met again," he said. "And you're just as beautiful as you were on that day."

She stared at him, not knowing what to say. She could only speculate as to what he was about to ask her, and sure enough…

"Do you want to come stay with me? We could really get to know one another again, start over from the beginning, like we were never separated to begin with."

He ran a hand through her hair, making her uncomfortable.

"I still love you, Julie."

_I don't know how I feel about you, Steve. _She knew it wasn't the time to be with him. "I can't leave right now. I have a patient to take care of."

"Well then let me come see you every day," he said. "At least we can spend a little bit of time together." He chuckled to himself. "I'm sorry I should've guessed, we should take it slow."

"I can't right now."

"What? You don't want to see me?" A look of disappointment washed over his face.

"No, I have too much going on. This isn't a good time."

"Well, do you have a pen and a paper? Let me leave my number. You can call me when you're ready."

She nodded and went to her room, to her desk and located a writing tablet. There again she saw Chris and Ham's number and was reminded of Maggie's impending call.

She couldn't wait to get away from all this.

After she allowed Steve to write down his information, he left, and not but a few minutes later, Donovan pulled his truck in front of the building. Julie went to meet him, hoping that Willie and Thelma would keep quiet about her guest.

Donovan stepped down from the truck with two K-Mart bags, stuffed with what looked like clothing.

"I stopped and picked up Sean some clothes," he explained. "I'm sick of seeing him in that damned red uniform."

He pulled a Chocolate almond Hershey Bar out of the bag. "A little something extra for you. The clerk said a new shipment came in this morning."

"I bought one yesterday." She took it from him.

"I figured, but you deserve more."

"Well thank you, Mike." She found herself grinning from ear to ear, and at the same time was annoyed with herself for letting him get to her like that. "How about some eggs and toast?" she asked, trying to distract herself from the awkwardness.

"Anything from you would be great." He winked.

"I'll get right on it."

She watched him disappear into Sean's room, and not long after, the shouting match began…


	10. Confirmation

After the fight with Sean, Donovan refused Julie's breakfast and said he wasn't hungry. She wondered if he'd eaten while out shopping, but she doubted it. As she started to do the breakfast dishes, he returned to the kitchen, only to shove a manila folder in her hands.

Julie looked down at the folder and then at him.

"Read it," he ordered. "I'll do the dishes." He picked the wet sponge from soapy water.

Opening the file on Sean, Julie crossed over to the common room couch, and sat. She counted the pages, seven in all, single spaced and in a size 9 font. Long overdue for contacts, she squinted her eyes to focus on the fine print. Page by page detailed Sean's military history, his achievements and awards, the number of humans who were slaughtered because of him… His attitude toward his "work." And through reading this, Julie got a clearer glimpse of what Sean had become these past several months. Philip's exhortation was not just his opinion, but a fact.

Through tear filled eyes, Julie finished the last sentence. She felt horrible for Donovan, knowing all too well how badly he'd desired to have Sean in his possession, but this report coupled with the struggles Julie had witnessed these past two days…

Maggie's voice over the CB distracted Julie from her worried thought pattern. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and then picked up the mic.

"Hi, Maggie."

"I'm sorry we just keep missing each other," Maggie said. "Donovan said you want to stay with me."

Julie exchanged looks with Donovan. "Yeah, I do," she admitted. "Just to get back on my feet."

"I told him I'll be home this Saturday if he'll bring you."

"I don't think that would be possible right now. I really need a ride."

"You want me to come out there?"

"Yes, you'd have to." She hated being demanding, but knew it was the only way to get away.

"I see… Well, when do you want me to pick you up on Saturday?"

"Anytime that's convenient."

"How about one?"

"Sure."

"And do you have Chris' number for me?"

The phone call ended with an exchange of information; the number which Chris was staying at, and Julie's location. When it was all said and done, Julie returned the report on Sean back to Donovan, knowing that by sharing it with her, he'd shown his acceptance that she wouldn't stay and help him… It was too much to ask of anyone.


	11. A Rocky Farewell

Stuffing her recently worn clothes into a duffle bag, Julie prepared for Maggie's arrival. Today, she'd leave resistance headquarters for good. Over the past several days, Sean's attitude toward her hadn't improved, and she could hardly treat him or stand in the same room with him without being insulted.

She shoved the past weeks receipts into the garbage can (there'd really been no need to keep track of expenses. She'd just done it out of habit.) Along with the receipts went Steve Maitland's contact information.

In her suitcase were packed memories of these past few years, along with more clothing. She kept out a photograph of her and Donovan on the makeshift nightstand near her cot, undecided of whether or not to take it. It was a reminder of plans unfulfilled. She packed two, unwrapped Hershey bars… one with almonds and one without. And they too were a reminder.

And every time she thought to reconsider her stance against getting back together with Donovan, she reminded herself of the situation with Sean.

_I still love Mike_, she admitted to herself. _A part of me always will love Mike… And he still loves me. What fools we were, trying to maintain our relationship during the war. We talked about marrying when the war ended. And here the war is over and… I'm leaving._

_ Don't beat yourself up about it, Doc, _Julie thought, the way Donovan probably would tell her. She felt the tug of sadness under her eyes and a few tears escaped, as memories of her miscarriage haunted her. She hadn't been trying to become pregnant last summer. Rumor had it that human birth control had been tampered with by the Visitors. And though she and Donovan had occasionally discussed having children, they'd both known it was something that had to be put off until after the war.

_The baby would've been due this month… I was almost a mother… _Having recently celebrated her twenty-ninth birthday, with little fanfare, Julie was aware she didn't have very many years of child-bearing left.

She thought of the child she'd briefly hoped for… A boy with dark hair and green eyes like his father, and a sweet personality, unlike his big brother.

Squinting against the tears, Julie asked herself a question_… If people have souls, then where to miscarried babies go when they die? Back to where they came from? Does the soul of a lost child live forever?... Maybe Donovan and I still have a child and we'll meet him … or her in the next life…_

_ "You almost ready?" Donovan asked from the doorway behind Julie._

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she turned around and looked at him. He stared back at her.

"I can come back," he said.

She sniffled. "I'm okay."

"Well, you can tell yourself that, but you never could fool me." He stepped over and smoothed the moisture from her cheek. "You're just unsure of yourself now, but in a few months, you'll be settled and have a new life."

His arms enveloped her, warm and strong. Instinctively she put her head on her chest, wondering, _and what about you Mike? _

Just like old times, Donovan responded to Julie's gesture with a kiss on the forehead.

He drew away. "I have every confidence that Maggie will take great care of you. I'll call and check up on you in a few months… if you want."

She looked into his eyes as he spoke to her, resisting the urge to kiss him. There he was, just being Mike Donovan, always caring, always sincere. In a way, she wished they didn't still love each other the way they did, then they could remain great friends.

"Oh, you don't have to check up on me." She chuckled. "You have Sean to keep you occupied."

"Sorry, I guess I've gotten used to… worrying about you."

_I love you too, Mike, _she thought feeling the tears well up in her eyes. _I love you and I can't say it. And you just think I'm a fool because of what happened with Steve._

The tears spilled over.

Donovan hugged her again, this time harder. Julie thought for certain he'd kiss her, tell her that he loved her and needed her to stay. Instead, he nuzzled his cheek against her forehead.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She knew she couldn't just say nothing or lie to him. "I don't know if I'm made the right decision, leaving so soon. You need me here for Sean…. I feel selfish." She sniffled.

"He's not your burden to carry, Sweetheart. I never meant for it to be that way."

_You didn't mean to always put him first… He's your son, you have to_. "It's okay, I understand. I would've expected you to be the same way, had we…" she broke off realizing, it was pointless to talk about the child they almost had. And it wasn't fair to bring up something they'd created together, so sacred.

His eyes narrowed into a quizzical stare, "Had we… what?"

"Not um… lost the baby."

"Well, maybe it wasn't meant to be."

She knew he didn't mean to sound insensitive.

He arched his eyebrows. "You weren't thinking about us, were you? I mean things not turning out the way we once hoped."

"Don't you?"

He stepped away from her, as if uncomfortable with the accusation. "Yeah. Then I remind myself of that conversation we had a few months ago."

_Her_ words. He had to remind her of _her_ words, that it was _her_ choice, not his. And had it been his choice, they wouldn't be having this conversation now.

"You didn't accept it though," she said. "What's with the Hershey bars? You knew they'd remind me and you were trying to get to me so I wouldn't leave you… and Sean." She realized she was speaking louder now, almost yelling at him and that if she carried on this way, then the conversation would no longer be private. Willie and Thelma sat in the adjacent room.

As if on cue, Donovan closed the door, shutting himself and Julie in her room.

"Maybe I did, but not deliberately," he admitted. "I'm sorry I made you feel confused. Funny, I thought you said there wasn't anything left between us, that you didn't feel about me the way I felt about you. "

"You know it wasn't just about you, it was the stress of the war, working for Bates, becoming a fugitive. You and Margie… Sean. My miscarriage…"

_He doesn't need to be reminded of everything… How we hurt each other… the arguments._

"You forgot to mention how you were really thinking about me when you kissed Maitland."

"Mike, I regret that, I was just confused… really I was."

He chuckled, sarcastically.

Angered by his insensitivity, Julie considered telling him to leave, but she didn't want to end things on such a sour note.

There was a knock on the door, even as Julie continued to wait for Donovan to further respond, and she hated the fact that they were being interrupted.

"What is it?" she snapped.

"Only your ride," Maggie answered.

"Give us a few minutes, Maggie," Julie said.

Wordlessly, Donovan started to gather her things.

"I'm not ready yet," Julie told him.

"No, no, no. I think you should leave. I think we've said _enough_ to each other."

"Put my stuff down."

When he didn't follow the command, she said, "Please."

He returned the items to the floor.

Julie held her arms out, but Donovan didn't return the gesture.

She hugged him anyway, tight as she could and said in a barely audible whisper, "I loved you, and I'm sorry it didn't work out."

He stayed silent for a moment, as though he didn't know how he should respond to her. "Say something," she begged.

"I _love_ you too, Doc," he gave her a pat on the back, turned away , then picked up the suitcase and duffle bag.

Julie didn't miss the present tense of his words. She wanted to return them, but didn't. She picked up the photo on the dresser, the one of her and Donovan in one another's arms and held it out to him.

"You keep it."

With a shake of the head, he opened the door and carried her belongings into the common room.

Julie sat the photo on the dresser. She didn't dare throw it away like the plans she'd made with Donovan. There was a small selfish part of her that needed to know he wouldn't forget her.

-END-


End file.
